I've come to realize that this is what I am most missing from my marriage. I could probably deal with the lack of sex, if I was getting any other sort of real intimacy. But I'm not. Micah kissed me yesterday (a quick, zero-passion peck) and I realized it was the first time in over 2 weeks he had kissed me at all. He doesn't hold my hand when we go places. He usually doesn't even walk next to me. He doesn't touch me, kiss me, hold me, tell me things that are on his mind.
It's gotten so bad that I don't even bother to give myself any "self lovin" any more, because I feel so unloved, unattractive, unwanted that it seems pointless. I start to try and it just makes me more depressed realizing that no one else wants to touch me that way.
It feels more like I have a roommate than a husband.
I miss feeling desired.
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I've decided to use this again and try to remember to use it as a place to post something I may or may not want to see again. Whether that be a thought, a link, a picture, whatever. I sometimes may explain things. I sometimes may not. I sometimes will have amazing spelling and grammar. I may sometimes drunk blog and make a fool of myself. I may sometimes vent about inane things. I may sometimes whine and complain about aches and pains. I may decide to blatantly rude. Probably not.
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