Yesterday sucked... until it didn't!

I may or may not have mentioned that I suffer from more than one mental disorder. Including fairly severe clinical depression. Yesterday, it hit me HARD. I had realized my kids are going to be spending Christmas with their dads. I'm not sure that I will have the gas money to get to my mom's. I am too broke to even BEGIN Christmas shopping, for even my kids, and unless I get some cash as a gift, I won't be able to until tax time. Along with the rest of the crap going on in my life, the depression got to a point it's never been to before. I was seriously the most depressed I have EVER been.

I was sitting on my bed, in tears, wishing someone, anyone, would care enough to call or text me or something. That happened. My friend, Robb, texted me. Robb and I have been friend since we were 15. A few days after starting school in a new town my sophomore year, we ran into each other. Literally. We really met, because playing floor hockey in gym class, we were both running for the puck and ran head first into each other. And that seemed to happen to us quite a bit that semester, until he (and everyone else who'd been in my class) had to take health the next semester (I had taken it at my old school the previous year) and I got a whole new load of classmates for gym.

He was the son of our principal (who HATED me, seriously hated me) and librarian (who did not hate me, but thought I wasn't good enough to date her son). So when the next year he and I dated, they were less than thrilled. We broke up, because being 16 and realizing you are getting way too serious about a person you are dating can be a bit scary. But he truly was my first broken heart. It never fully healed. We always seemed to drift back towards each other, but never dated again. People often thought we were dating because when we were near each other, we found it almost impossible NOT to snuggle and smooch and do all those things dating people do. Until my senior year (his junior, he is older, but had to repeat kindergarten), and I was dating the biological father of my oldest son and one time he started to kiss me and I told him not to.

After school ended, we saw each other a handful of times around town. The I moved to the larger town about an hour's drive away and didn't see him again until a few years later. Ran into each other at the mall. He was home from college visiting his parents and decided to come to larger town to see a movie (one of the theaters was in the mall) and we happened to run into each other.

Then did not see or hear from each other again for years. He moved to Denver. That was all I knew. Until about 4 1/2 years ago, do to the glory of social networking sites (in this case is was myspace, but we have each other on facebook now, too) we found each other and started talking regularly again. When I had to go to Denver for some special training for work a few months after that, we hung out for a while. I was already married by then, so we behaved ;). But anyway, I realized that the bond we've always had never went away. It's changed over the years. But never gone away. So we've kept in touch (Yay internet!).

Yesterday, I think he saw my post on facebook about how depressed I was. He texted me. We talked for quite a while. And I feel better than I have in a very long time.