I fail

I guess my attempt to try to remember to blog every day failed. But hey, it's been less than a week. Big improvement over my many month gap before. I keep thinking if I can get better at organizing my thoughts, I can become a better person. And I want to be a better person. I don't like much about myself and I want to change that. I want to look in the mirror and be proud of the person I see staring back at me.

So, first I think I need a list of goals.

I want to be financially stable. I don't feel like I am. It's always such a struggle to make ends meet and we are getting no closer to being able to buy a home. I work full time but my husband doesn't. I feel like to some degree this is my fault, because I have let him get away with slacking for so long that making him change now is almost impossible.

I want to be a better mother. My kids are my world, but sometime I feel like a failure in the motherhood department. I do my best to spend as much time with them as I can, but having to share them with their dad and working full time really cuts into that. So I feel bad on the rare occasion I choose to do anything without them because it's that much more time I am missing with them. I want to be able to spend more and higher quality time with my kids, but I want to be able to have some time for me now and then, too.

I want to lose weight and be healthier. Losing weight isn't a priority until after the baby is born, but it is a concern. I have been unhappy with how I look and feel for a very long time.

These are my top 3 changes I really want to make in my life. Now I just need to figure out how to implement them.